Jack Skellington

You don’t know Jack Schitt !

For
some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find
ourselves at a loss when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt!’
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe
Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep
N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt
married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children:
Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins
Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents’ objections,
Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being
married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later
married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she
wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt
Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they
produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were
inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper
announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were
Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home
to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian
bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, ‘You don’t know Jack Schitt,’ you can correct them..

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This entry was posted on Saturday, March 1st, 2008 at 2:22 am and is filed under Jokes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.