Garden of Eden
Adam’s side of the story
First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden. Then he said to himself, "There’s something he’s needing"
After casting about for a suitable pearl, He kept messing around and created a girl,
Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender, Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
Two lovely hips to increase his desire, And rounded and firm to bring out the fire.
Two lovely breasts, so full and so proud, Commanding his eyes, as he whispers aloud.
Two lovely arms, just aching to bless you, And two loving hands, to soothe and caress you.
Soft, cascading hair hung down over her shoulder, And two dreamy eyes, just to make him grow bolder.
‘Twas made for a man, just to make his heart sing. Then he added a mouth. Ruined the whole damned thing.
Eve’s side of the story
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It
is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are
breathtaking; the smells, the sights - everything is wonderful. But I
have just one problem. It is these three breasts that you have given
me. The middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly
knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches, and snagging
them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve.
Eve
went on to tell God that many other parts of her body (such as her
limbs eyes, and ears) came in pairs, and she felt that having only two
breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put
it.
"That
is a fair point," replied God. "But it was my first shot at this, you
know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only
half of those. But I see that you are right.. I will fix it up right
away."
God reached down, removed the middle breast, and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed, and God once again visited Eve in the garden. "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation now?"
"Just
fantastic," she replied, "but for one oversight on your part. You see
all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her
bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
"God
thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could
I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately
create a man from a part of you.
Now let’s see . . . Where did I put that useless boob?"
